Hi all,

       I know I should of wrote this at the first week of September when everyone was going back to school or got a new job or people were just thinking about the end of summer. Sort of like a “looking back, looking forward” or “what I have learned” sort of thing. Since I know now that I should of done this …well, better late than never.  :-)  (also posted to yahoogroups e-mail discussion lists http://groups.yahoo.com/group/learning_differently/ and http://groups.yahoo.com/group/learningdifferently/  and LDNS’s website)

LOOKING BACK - LOOKING FORWARD...

       The whole educational experience, for me, has kept me at a distance from some of my own personal goals. One of which is being here for those that have been cheering me on and supporting similar dreams I have.  It has been a difficult road towards those dreams. I struggled, fought, and won a trophy (my master’s degree) to lie on the path, as a stepping stone leading me closer to those dormant dreams. But this is not always true for people that are devoted to their goals.  At times there are “walls” that block those dreams from becoming tangible.  This is one of the reasons why I believe it was hard for me to speak about my own aspirations. I knew I would let EVERYONE know how scared and timid I felt for just trying! Someone like me usually gets questioned for trying to achieve more, and if someone like me states how difficult the work is, then usually I am told to give up or that I am not “felt sorry for”. First, I never want anyone to feel sorry for me. I want their understanding of me. Second, I NEVER give up. So, I did not want to hear the degrading talk to divert me from my goals.

        Another reason I had trouble talking about my educational experience is because I am suppose to be an advocate, a mouth piece, a voice for those like me, for when they have trouble speaking, the words just don’t seem to magically appear, they are afraid of speaking out and do not want to be ridiculed for their opinions and beliefs.  As this type of person, I did not want to infringe my fears and difficulties on to others like me. I want to help motivate and empower others to proceed with their ambitions. After I had tried and succeeded   in completing my degree requirements, someone had asked me, “was it worth it, would you do it again?” My reply was, “of course, in a breath.”

       Lastly, who would really hear me, who would really listen while I was going through the motions?  Honesty, friends, family and others, just get tired of hearing, I have to take a test and I am scared, I need some help , this is frustrating, I am tried, I do not understand, this is taking a long time, I am nervous, it is difficult, and a host of other verbs that could define my learning process. So… I just stopped speaking out and started doing.

WHY I DID THIS…

First and foremost, BECAUSE IT IS THERE!

       I entered my masters degree program in social work because I wanted to assist others like me, to enhance community awareness about learning, and to help society recognize all people are worthy and deserving of higher learning opportunities. While working on my masters, other reasons came into play. To be educated makes a powerful statement to those in the same profession, politicians, and in the community. Broadly speaking, people like me do not try to obtain master degrees. Additionally, most do not triumph. Why did I continue? Because someone like me had to – in order to make the powerful statement, “…it is within reach, it is possible!” And then to take it one step further, to publicize it afterwards. If someone like me can attain a masters degree, then others like me can too!

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED…

       I had gained more than an MSW degree. I had gained the awareness that ALL people are different, therefore, ALL people learn differently. With every struggling task, difficult moment, and “walls” I came across, I knew there was something special in me, I knew I had the ability to overcome, persevere and achieve my goals. In general, to learn differently, have a disability, or to deviate from the norms of the general population should NOT be a humiliation. This should be celebrated. Strengths should be recognized and encouraged to grow. Diversity of self is the right of passage to exploration of the human spirit. It is to what degree an individual learns differently or diversely from another that is viewed, measured, judged and labeled. I had learned from others who are not labeled, but who also learn differently, that help, services, and any type of support sort after is not an entitlement. I have learned that even with supportive services in place for those that are labeled that their successes are still seen as unworthy. Yes, I had services, help, and support from many individuals. And I thank them all dearly for this. However, it is through my own self-determination, that my name is shown - on my masters degree.

WHAT IS NEXT…

n             A Job

n             Changes and New Additions to

         Learning Differently Network Support (LDNS)

            website http://www.LDNS.org

n             A Book

n             Political Involvement

n             The Next Generation

n             Public Awareness Activities

n             Research

n             New Endeavors

Blessings,

Anita Schwartz, MSW   

www.LDNS.org - Learning Differently, Learning for Life!